Today is Friday, which brings us to the end of the last week of our lives without having Artem with us. It has been a hard week for me. It has felt a little like being held hostage at times.
Tonight, when it was time to give Artem back, we didn't get our usual goodbye. We usually get to walk him up the stairs, hug and kiss all over him, and say paka-paka. But tonight, a girl I had never seen before came and pick him up off the carpet and just walked away. Wow, I thought. I wanted to say, "He is mine, give him back." But I cannot. I just have to say okay, and leave.
Because a stranger is going to feed him dinner, and put him to bed. Will she be sweet and kind? Will she rub his back? Probably not, but neither can I. What if he is scared? What if his belly hurts?
I come to rest in You, to abide in You, to dwell with You for You are gentle and humble and You are where I find my rest. My rest is in You.
Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him. Psalm 37
God, hear my cry;
pay attention to my prayer.
I call to You from the ends of the earth (Eastern Europe)
when my heart is without strength.
Lead me to a rock that is high above me,
for You have been a refuge for me,
a strong tower in the face of the enemy.
I will live in Your tent forever
and will take refuge under the shelter of Your wings. Psalm 61
I must Rest in the One who started this from the beginning.
I must Rest in the One who created his sweet face, knows him more intimately than I ever will, and loves him more than I ever could.
I must Rest in the One who has provided and protected him from his conception.
I must Rest in the One who so carefully brought us here and worked out every detail.
I must Rest in the One who so graciously allowed us to be a part of this story.
I must Rest...