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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

As my Heart aches...

The waiting for the day when we can hold the child God so carefully choose for our family is horrendous. Brandon and I talk often of ways to cope and kill the time. So we started running everyday, we work on Artem's room (painting and shopping for furniture, etc.), and busy ourselves with the other parts of our life, trying only to think of him when I have to.
But, today I sat home alone thinking only of him, and calling out to our God to bring him home. I thought, "Is this the longing you had for me God? Is this the longing you have for your children." Because my heart breaks for the day Artem no longer has to be alone, and for a time he will know the love are family is waiting to share with him. Is this the heart break our Father in heaven has for us? Does he long for us and wait for a time when we will no longer walk alone, and a time when we can feel the love of our creator, and Father?
The words of Chris Rice so carefully explain my feelings today:
Cause I just want to be with you,
I just want this waiting to be over.
Cause I just want to be with you,
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer.
Every minute takes an hour,
Every inch feels like a mile.
Till I won't have to imagine,
And I finally get to see you smile!


  1. Amazing post!


  2. You don't know me but I donated last Christmas towards Artem's funds. I just went to see if he was still there and my heart broke a little when I saw that he was. But then I searched his name again and found your story and I'm so excited that you have found this little boy to be the one your hearts desire! He is on our tree again and the first picture is the one I have. I have an 18 month old with Down syndrome and when I saw Artem last year, I felt he needed a home. To darling to pass up!!! We will donate again and I just pray Artem is home with you all next Christmas! Such a sweetheart!!! I loved his name too;)

  3. That was "John Mark" from RR... Interested? Could you still add another child to your dossier? Am praying for a family for that little guy :) So, January 17th... not as soon as I was hoping for either but exciting news nonetheless! We'll cross for a little while at least. Will you stay for the 10 day waiting period or will you go home?